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Category Archives: Movies

Hello, darkness

What is The Graduate but a celebration of the first truly self-aware generation? “I’m just a little worried about my future,” says Ben. Moody fish tanks and parsley and sage. We don’t want your system, Dad. Mom. We are lost in our ennui, bobbing in a pool of post-bourgeois existential angst. We have stuff, but […]

The future will not be blogged

I had this plan that I was going to watch all three Transformers movies this week and write something hilarious about how Michael Bay is a bleeding propagandist who markets a particular vision of unbridled and global American military power to children on behalf of his clients in the Pentagon. It was going to go […]

Shoot your superheroes

I am no comic book historian, but I am willing to go out on a limb and propose that the possibilities for superhero mythology were exhausted by the bottom of the third page of Superman, Issue 1, Volume 1 (1938), and that the subsequent 70-odd years of furious homoerotic/hetero-normative masturbatory artwork, extreme vigilante violence, and […]

America according to Pixar

I was watching Pixar’s Wall-E for the millionth time with my young son. The Earth is ruined and humans have become freakishly obese, oblong, giant éclairs with tiny arms and legs and blond buzz cuts, wearing jumpsuits and whizzing around their spaceship refuge on hover chairs, drinking Slurpee-like meals through straws. Buy ‘n Large, the […]

God bless the internet

Well, this made me sick. Watch an Apache gunship machinegun a bunch of civilians, then machinegun them again when someone comes to help the wounded. Mistakes are mistakes, but it becomes murder when you lie about it. In the future, I will have a very hard time believing the U.S. Military’s version of these kinds […]

Seven movies I’ve watched over and over again

In no particular order: The Big Lebowski Amelie High Fidelity Bubba Ho-tep The Apartment The Man Who Wasn’t There The Royal Tenenbaums

Exercise in lameness

Now that James Cameron says he’ll be directing a sequel to The Most Derivative Movie Ever Made, I thought I’d throw out some ideas for the new film. Jawal is a Na’vi cop. He’s a rebel who uses unorthodox methods to get results. But when he crashes another winged batty thing in a madcap aerial […]

From the New York Times: The blacks who are enraged by “Precious” have probably figured out that this film wasn’t meant for them. It was the enthusiastic response from white audiences and critics that culminated in the film being nominated for six Oscars by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, an outfit whose […]

Conspiracy!

I’ve been wondering for ever so long why movie studios always manage to release odd films with roughly the same premise at basically the same time. Two volcano movies, two asteroid-destroys-the-Earth movies, two Victorian illusionist movies, and now – now! – two guy-wandering-through-desolate-post-apocalyptic-wasteland movies. First, The Road: And now The Book of Eli: I ask […]

Up in the Air

Up in the Air is the Benjamin Button of this Oscar season. That is, it sucks – hard – but for some reason everyone loves it and it will win all sorts of awards. Basically, it’s a buddy movie, which prejudiced me against it from the get-go. I hate buddy movies almost as much as […]