Peter Krupa

Today’s Captain Obvious award goes to the Washington Post and its story about the spread of HIV which, on the homepage, was headlined, “Behavior Propels HIV’s Spread:”

Night after night they return for the carefree, beery vibe, with the same partners or new ones, creating a web of sexual interaction. A growing number of studies single out such behavior — in which men and women maintain two or more ongoing relationships — as the most powerful force propelling a killer disease through a vulnerable continent.

This new understanding of how the AIDS virus attacks individuals and their societies helps explain why the disease has devastated southern Africa while sparing other places. It also suggests how the region’s AIDS programs, which have struggled to prevent new infections even as treatment for the disease has become more widely available, might save far more lives: by discouraging sexual networks.

Wow, like, you mean sexual promiscuity increases the spread of HIV? Someone call the Nobel Prize committee.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the first edition of the Salute to Captain Obvious, where we honor esoteric experts with obvious opinions and the media professionals who quote them. Today’s honoree comes from an otherwise good LA Times article about the Stephen Colbert Show. And I quote:

Paul Lewis, a Boston College professor who has studied humor and politics, said the series was just “a trap” for politicians.

“When they go on the show,” he said, “they often seem like buffoons.”

Captain Obvious, we salute you.

It comforts me to know that somewhere out there in the scary darkness of our complicated world, an expert is studying “humor and politics,” and that this expert is qualified to make bold, true, and possibly peer-reviewed statements about cable TV programming. Thanks especially goes to Times staff writer Jim Puzzanghera for digging up this valuable source to answer the burning and difficult question that I know was on all of our minds: Does Stephen Colbert make the guests on his show look like buffoons?

Now we know that, yes, he does. Why? Because Paul Lewis said so, and he teaches at Boston College.

OK, now, if I did this every time I ran across these valuable quotes from academic experts, I’d have time neither to eat, nor bathe, but that won’t stop me. And it’s up to you, my studio audience, to give me a hand by sending me a link whenever, during your browsing hither and yon, you run across an obvious opinion presented under the auspices of expertise.

America’s media professionals need to be recognized for their tireless efforts at digging up academic experts every time they need to pad an article with some stupid fucking quote. And we’re going to recognize them.