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the uncoolness of hillary clinton

here’s the hard thing about being a gung-ho clinton supporter age ~35-45, and i really do think this is true, although i don’t think i’m the first one to say it, so apologies to the original originator of this take: supporting hillary is not Cool, and this makes them frustrated and angry.

think about it, they probably became politically active during the florida recount and the bush presidency, which all democrats agree was a time Satan roamed the earth. maybe they were for hillary in 2008, but regardless they got to throw in with obama, and this made them Cool. no question. Where Were You During The Inauguration Of Our First Black President, etc. no shade here, this was a legitimately good time to be excited about democratic politics.

but at some point, these people got safe careers and got married and moved to a place with Good Schools and bought a Home and settled into Adult Life, and while they thought they were keeping up with progressive politics by watching MSNBC, boy were they not.

and then the 2016 primary rolled around and they linked arms with team hillary to sing “we shall over come” and break the glass ceiling and hop back on the Cool Train with a redux of 2008/2012 and suddenly, unbelievably, there are all these goddamn kids and assholes on the internet mocking them and promising to vote for a socialist.

they fought back viciously, smearing the bernie bros/ladies, etc., calling them dreamers and naifs, like dad about to lose a 1-on-1 match with his kid for the first time, panting and juking and throwing up wild jump shots, desperately grasping at cultural relevance, mom arguing that of course the school clothes she is buying you are Cool, honey, because look how practical they are.

this is why, even after bernie has lost and endorsed hillary and lol the primary is over dude, they still attack the left. deep in their mushy red hearts, they know an incrementalist dynastic millionaire zionist hawk who has been paid millions by dictators and banks to do she won’t say what is not, and can never be, Cool. they hate this, they hate that we know this, and they hate that all the power and money in the world can never change it.