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a friend of mine had some checks stolen when his car was broken into. the police caught the suspect trying to cash one of the checks. he’d made it out to himself.

i’m just going to say that i think we need a new social program for people who are really bad at crime. like, the police take them aside and say “look, you are very, very bad at this. here are some brochures, the private sector has many opportunities for people who are bad at things, have you considered a career in real estate or human resources?”

it’s ok, i’m not saying we send them to work on an oil rig or driving an airplane. but people who are bad at crime deserve the same chance that the rest of us have to be bad at a regular job.