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We Are the Shamelessly Self-Promoting

“We Are the World” remake: Helping Haiti? Absolutely. I bet a lot of Haitians breathed a sigh of relief on February 2 and said to themselves, “Boy, I feel a lot less hungry and a lot more housed now that a bunch of famous musicians got together and sang for 14 hours. All I need now is my very own pony!”

Or here’s an idea! Rather than waiting for a few dollars to trickle down thanks to this once-in-a-lifetime marketing opportunity, why don’t all you bumble-fuck celebrities just sell a couple of your houses and donate the goddamn cash to the Red Cross?

And finally, Jeff Bridges? Really? Like, the Jeff Bridges who’s up for an Oscar this year for his role as a musician, but has never, like, you know, done anything else musical in his life? You people are shameless.