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Morning funny

From the New Yorker:

The enemy had gathered in a small copse upstream from our location. The decision was made to engage them in force. The assault would require a direct approach along the river, the only significant obstacle to attack being a small hillock approximately a hundred metres from our location. Sergeant Chandler led the way. Ames, Elder, Leonard, and Tracker followed, with Parker and me bringing up the heavy machine gun at the rear. The day was dry and clear.

Immediately upon leaving our position, we came under heavy enemy fire. Almost at once, Private Ames grew red in the face. Private Elder took Ames’s pack. But the pack was heavy, and Elder soon reported that his back was spasming. Also, his calves were burning. Elder joined Ames behind a small boulder, where the two men shared a Diet Coke.

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